War of feelings

Juz finish the trials... now i am very lazy... dunno wat happen to me... felt so empty rite now... wat shud i do?... go n talk to summone that i am reli close to?... or juz emo on myself... sitting at a dark corner n thinking all the sad things... haiz... i reli need summone beside me all the time... summone who i can trust... summone is like an angel... but whoever is it... there is always sum devils to torment me n the angel... haiz... so get bullied by those devils... **** them... cant the devils juz mind their own business... in future...i hope the devils will get wat they have done... serve them rite... haiz... but wats the point... they also have done it... it cant be change... do i juz need to stay tough or act tough?... ppl say i very famous... ppl say i noe a lot of people... ppl say i polish shoes... ppl say me this... ppl say me that... they say everything... shud i mind their talking?... or shud i juz confront them face to face n talk like a man... so emo.... maybe i shud juz listen to music... even skul works cant be my companian... social networks cant help much either... pluz with all the nagging... haiz... cant i love whoever or watever want to love... cant i juz do watever i want to do... cant i juz dun be disturbed... wats wrong or wats right?... i also dunno... so confuse n so much to be done... thats the way of life... haiz... feeling like getting far away from reality... coz i cant stand the society... but if i do that... wont i look weak?... maybe i am juz weak... anyway... i want to stay strong... anyone that i love... they are getting more far away from me... i am so lonely.... in the darkness... in family, skul, tuition, anywhere.... so alone... i am scared... can i live longer?... i have been wondering that... is it fun to die?... life is so full of suffering... i wan to be the best n maintain the best... but i juz cant do it... y?... am i not gud?... wat am i not gud at?... how shud i improve?... summone... plz... i beg of u... i need u... plz plz plz... T.T...